I'd tell you a UDP joke…

(codepuns.com)

92 points | by redmattred 3 hours ago

19 comments

  • LeoPanthera 2 hours ago
    "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

    "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

    "Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

    "I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    • Izmaki 9 minutes ago
      This one is the only one among the 10+ I browsed through on the website and read in the comments that actually made me laugh. Good one! Thanks for sharing. :)
  • dmurray 1 hour ago
    I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.

    I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.

    While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.

  • bigstrat2003 27 minutes ago
    I can tell you a DNS joke, but be aware that it might take 8 hours for everyone to get it.
  • divbzero 2 hours ago
    Or alternatively:

    > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

    • Neywiny 2 hours ago
      Or alternatively:

      > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

    • kuekacang 25 minutes ago
      > A UDP joke I would tell you... but you might get it not
  • charcircuit 43 minutes ago
    You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.
  • travisd 3 hours ago
    packets udp bar walk a into
  • blorenz 3 hours ago
    This was out of order.
  • memset 3 hours ago
  • senthil_rajasek 3 hours ago
    Here is an ICMP joke,

    - Knock Knock

    - Who's there?

    - Thank you

    • redmattred 3 hours ago
      If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me
    • burnt-resistor 2 hours ago
      Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.
  • mlhpdx 3 hours ago
    There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.
    • lucb1e 1 hour ago
      Which are those?

      Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"

  • CPLX 1 hour ago
    I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.
    • lsc4719 1 hour ago
      Mix it with TLS joke
  • blacklion 2 hours ago
    There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(
  • Polizeiposaune 2 hours ago
    IP UDP we all P for TCP
  • irishcoffee 2 hours ago
    I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”
  • burnt-resistor 2 hours ago
    Put a cork in it.
  • damnitbuilds 3 hours ago
  • Gibbon1 2 hours ago
    ght get it liYou mike this though
  • MarkusWandel 2 hours ago
    "get not you might it but"