Ask HN: Sold my company, parents passed away – feeling lost. What now?

I'm 29. I just sold my company and received a low 7-figure payout — something I had worked towards for years. The next day, my remaining parent died. My other parent had already passed away a few years ago. Now, at 29, both my parents are gone. Because of the inheritance (which is larger than I expected due to how young they passed), combined with my company sale, I will likely never have to worry about money again.

Professionally, this was the greatest achievement of my life. Personally, this is the greatest loss. I have absolutely zero regrets about my relationship with my parents. They were amazing people, and we had an amazing relationship. I'm deeply grateful for that. I'm grateful, but I also feel very alone and a little lost. I’m not sure what to do next — with my time, my energy, or even with my life.

If anyone has been through something similar — or even if you haven’t — I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice. How do you figure out what's next when it feels like you’ve hit a strange high and low at the same time?

8 points | by throwaway84321 17 hours ago

10 comments

  • wafflemaker 4 hours ago
    Sorry for your loss. Hope it will get better soon.

    When I lost someone, people at work felt awkward about asking about it, except for one weird guy that did a lot of charity work. Remember being super pissed at him 3 weeks after the funeral, when he said that the first year if the worst. But he was right.

    I really regret not going to a psychologist. I didn't know how to explain it to the family doctor to make him send me to one (live in Norway, where taxes are insane, but if you make your case right, you get almost free medical assistance, capped at $300/y). I also didn't know it was worth it even with costs that seemed prohibitive.

    It's worth knowing, that psychologists are like programmers - not everyone is good at everything.

    Find a couple specializing in supporting grieving people, see at least 3 and decide which one fits you best.

    Sending love, hope you get better!

  • factorialboy 1 hour ago
    Find your next mission. Set up FIRE and then focus on humanitarian causes that appeal to you. Nothing better than helping others (humans, animals and nature).
  • leandot 3 hours ago
    Condolences for your loss. It sounds like a difficult period - give yourself time to mourn. Try to fill the time with meaningful experiences - if you like dogs, go to a dog shelter, if you like hiking, go hiking. A lot of sun, sport and good company helps too. Avoid thinking about the future, work or money right now.
  • rawgabbit 12 hours ago
    You are grieving. Be patient and kind to yourself. You just experienced one of the most traumatic events in life, the death of a loved one. Let yourself grieve and ensure you get the help you need.
  • qwertyasdfzxcv 9 hours ago
    Sorry for your loss. Listening to Sadhguru carried me through difficult times. Helpful, but probably not the kindest thing to hear:

    - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIdWjMs-VYk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4SEVvTs1L0 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMQ-rJlOpSU

  • jfil 9 hours ago
    Take time to be lost. There is no need to rush into any projects/decisions/attitudes. What happened to you is very unusual and it'll take time to process. Time that you have.
  • toldyouso2022 7 hours ago
    You are mourning your parents, your company and maybe you are mourning having to work towards something, maybe even mourning the financial worry itself.

    Thing with mourning is that now things seem to be over but they will start again eventually. It's all about time. Also I'm sorry you feel alone, I hope you'll find a way to manage that.

    Good luck

  • ivape 10 hours ago
    Find a grief support group asap, you absolutely cannot be alone through this. I'm sure there are some that meet online everyday. This is different than just therapy. I am sorry for your loss.
  • VirusNewbie 5 hours ago
    > I have absolutely zero regrets about my relationship with my parents. They were amazing people, and we had an amazing relationship

    Pay it forward, find a partner and be an amazing parent. It's not just rewarding, it's fun too!

    Honestly, money can mitigate a lot of the harder parts of having kids (not getting a break, getting woken up at night when they're little babies, having to hire a babysitter if you want to see a movie at night etc).

  • hacker-l 1 hour ago
    [dead]